S. ('A Bitch)
Il prossimo che mi dice che, quando conosci una persona e senti squillare fanfare e trombe e vedi cuoricini negli occhi di tutti, significa che è scoccato il colpo di fulmine, lo metto su una pira e gli do fuoco.
Sabato scorso ho conosciuto un ragazzo che nemmeno nella migliore tradizione dei serial televisivi adolescenziali poteva essere più bello. Ci vado a cena, passiamo una notte infuocata di sesso insieme e dopo una settimana di telefonate, sms, messanger su internet con toni simili a quelli di due sweethearts of the medium, I rattles off the following beads:
- one does not live in Rome as I was just visiting a friend
- two, the girl has already fixed. She does the traffic warden in Florence, where both live,
- three, the father of his girlfriend is in hospital right now and he is confused and can not do this to her and has to be near her because she has a commitment to it.
'A turd, but the guilt does not come while you are fucking me last Saturday? He attacked
anguish that not even the turkey before Thanksgiving.
Then I said to myself, but who the fuck thinks he has something to do?
So this morning I went to the station, I bought a ticket per Firenze e mi sono presentata nella sua città senza anticipargli minimamente niente. Quando gli ho mandato un messaggio per comunicargli la lieta novella, pensavo che si sarebbe incazzato. Invece corre a prendermi alla stazione e con quel suo sorriso del cazzo stampato in volto mi dice che posso fermarmi lì e dormire da lui. Tanto la vigilessa è a dirigire il traffico a casa di sua mamma per aiutarla con il padre moribondo.
E io penso, ok...stanotte almeno scoperemo di nuovo.
Invece arriviamo a casa sua e inizia a fare discorsi senza nè capo nè coda.
Prima mi dice che io sono un gradino sopra tutte le altre, ma in questo momento di crisi con la sua lei, lo destabilizzo. E questo posso accettarlo.
Poi mi dice che ha bisogno time to level with himself. And this I can accept it. Then I sighed
back together that he was wrong to have sex with me last weekend. And, with great effort, I accept that too.
But then utters the phrase that every child with a minimum of salt knows that you should never ask a girl says she wants to try to start as friends. And this, I do not accept that.
At that point I called a cab back faster than light in Rome, but when I found myself on the street I thought better. Usually do not do reckless actions, but this morning I have not really seen more anger.
really gave it to him so defeated?
I asked the taxi to wait a quarter of an hour. I
went to the dealer next to his house and asked the attendant a can of green that I had been stopped. I went back to his house and started to water the walls. You wanted the house to the ground floor? your cock! When I
intercom and he opened the door, without batting an eyelid I have spilled on the fuel remaining.
E 'was great to see those fucking blue eyes staring at me in fear.
I took a cigarette and I are stuck in the mouth. Then I lit a match and waited. He mumbled something. I blew on the flame to turn it off and it was then that he issued the bowels.
And then I thought, Florence, Rome roundtrip ticket, 60 € with mastercard. Full-free petrol piombo in tanica, 40 euro con mastercard. Taxi che ti aspetta per quasi venti minuti e poi ti porta alla stazione, 30 euro con mastercard. Vedere il ragazzo che ti ha preso per il culo cagarsi addosso, non ha prezzo.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
How To Put A Motorcycle Motor On A Go Cart
Corriera Woman - III
E rano le 5 del mattino di lunedì quando Lara si buttò giù dal letto. Alle sei si presentò battagliera al duello all’ultimo vestito con l’armadio. Indossò un pantalone nero, camicetta bianca e giacca nera. Si specchiò davanti, di profilo, di dietro. “... No! non va bene, sono sempre dressed like that. " He undressed and began again: gray suit and black shirt under jacket. "No, we have not." Red trousers, white shirt and blue jacket. "Nope, I look like the French flag." And so for six, seven, ten, twelve times ...
The mountain of discarded clothes have already been tested and increased at his feet. After an hour and a half of tests was sweating like a truck driver traveling from Rome to Milan, in the middle of August, age late 70s when the air conditioning was still a luxury reserved for a select few and the only tool on the market able to create the illusion of some 'of breezy ventilatorino was attached to the glass with ventosina and directed in the face of the poor devil.
short, we drove out of the shower, then fished out of the pile on the floor the black pants, white blouse and black jacket, and, satisfied, went out.
When he entered office in her legs were James James. His first day at work, after so many years, how exciting! The
were presented all the ladies and gentlemen. He tried to impress upon at least some good names associated with each face, but I do not remember any of them. Was captured by the head of sales that gave a list of telephone, two pens and other implements of labor, two or three kilos of lists and a kilometric list of names to contact. Thus began
and from that day his life took another turn. Di Marco, apart from the mail addressed to him, no more news.
Until the day when ...
He was coming out of the office and if a customer found him in the face: "But quard see who it is ... and that beautiful shape!
Lara was limited to a hasty: Hello Mark, are you okay?
"Great. You too, I see. Let's take a coffee together? like two old friends ... "
" No excuse, but I can not wait, a business appointment in twenty minutes across town "
" A job? Congratulations. But not at this'll never make it by bus, come give you a ride "
"No thanks, do not worry, I'll make it. Hello "
" Ok. Maybe I'll see one of these days ... when I come to fetch mail "
Lara did not answer, went to a pea-green Volkswagen, antiquated but still in good condition and ... decent in its own way. He entered, to the astonishment of Mark, the driver's seat, started up with two maneuvers, precise to the millimeter, left the parking lot.
When it passed in front of a semi-paralyzed by surprise Marco, Lara opened the window and said, "By the way, do not you think it's time to notify the post office your new address?" And walked away. Rearview mirror he saw that Marco was still building, where he had left there. It seemed a lot less tall and big: the more she moved away as he was small. Then the car turned the corner and Mark disappeared.
He reflected on his words: "... like two old friends."
"Yes, friends, shit!" Thought " a friend would have at least taught me to drive"
The mountain of discarded clothes have already been tested and increased at his feet. After an hour and a half of tests was sweating like a truck driver traveling from Rome to Milan, in the middle of August, age late 70s when the air conditioning was still a luxury reserved for a select few and the only tool on the market able to create the illusion of some 'of breezy ventilatorino was attached to the glass with ventosina and directed in the face of the poor devil.
short, we drove out of the shower, then fished out of the pile on the floor the black pants, white blouse and black jacket, and, satisfied, went out.
When he entered office in her legs were James James. His first day at work, after so many years, how exciting! The
were presented all the ladies and gentlemen. He tried to impress upon at least some good names associated with each face, but I do not remember any of them. Was captured by the head of sales that gave a list of telephone, two pens and other implements of labor, two or three kilos of lists and a kilometric list of names to contact. Thus began
and from that day his life took another turn. Di Marco, apart from the mail addressed to him, no more news.
Until the day when ...
He was coming out of the office and if a customer found him in the face: "But quard see who it is ... and that beautiful shape!
Lara was limited to a hasty: Hello Mark, are you okay?
"Great. You too, I see. Let's take a coffee together? like two old friends ... "
" No excuse, but I can not wait, a business appointment in twenty minutes across town "
" A job? Congratulations. But not at this'll never make it by bus, come give you a ride "
"No thanks, do not worry, I'll make it. Hello "
" Ok. Maybe I'll see one of these days ... when I come to fetch mail "
Lara did not answer, went to a pea-green Volkswagen, antiquated but still in good condition and ... decent in its own way. He entered, to the astonishment of Mark, the driver's seat, started up with two maneuvers, precise to the millimeter, left the parking lot.
When it passed in front of a semi-paralyzed by surprise Marco, Lara opened the window and said, "By the way, do not you think it's time to notify the post office your new address?" And walked away. Rearview mirror he saw that Marco was still building, where he had left there. It seemed a lot less tall and big: the more she moved away as he was small. Then the car turned the corner and Mark disappeared.
He reflected on his words: "... like two old friends."
"Yes, friends, shit!" Thought " a friend would have at least taught me to drive"
Friday, June 15, 2007
Anyone Tried Bamboo Sheets?
Women in couriers - II
Mark ... who knows what he said about his new job. Undoubtedly he would try to take it apart "Want to make the career woman? ah ah ah ... career ... with the bus ... ahahaha "Al
suo fianco si era sempre sentita una nullità, anche soltanto per la stazza: Marco era alto e grosso e importante. Lui era perfetto, lei era tutta sbagliata.
Ogni volta che esprimeva il desiderio di iniziare a lavorare, lui le diceva: “Ma lascia perdere, io guadagno abbastanza per tutti e due. E poi la casa ha bisogno di una regina… ”.
Regina ? la schiava, semmai. Ogni scusa era buona per farla sentire una incapace; come quando discutevano della sua paura di guidare: lui la prendeva in giro la stuzzicava, ma quando Lara gli chiedeva di farla provare a guidare e di aiutarla a superare il timore, Marco trovava sempre qualche pretesto per non farlo.
Adesso capiva che era così che lui la voleva : totalmente dipendente.
He put the key in the lock and closed his eyes as a ritual. In the hall he opened them and despair took hold of her, the fairy with a magic wand had not appeared even today. The apartment is presented with the same mess as always. Artistic perhaps, but still chaos. The Cat in the
greeted with one of his traps but there was very bad. Leo, tan cat, nice but pain in the ass, so he always did: waited for Lara came home and stuck with a leap suddenly from the kitchen door, the bit into his legs and then ran away . That day
Lara had his boots.
He spent the weekend doing the spring cleaning ... that dell'95 ! e anche fuori stagione visto che era quasi natale. Fu una sorta di mission impossible ma ne uscì vittoriosa. Erano le dieci di sera di domenica quando finalmente si fermò. Si guardava intorno soddisfatta, non le sembrava più nemmeno la stessa casa, tutto quell’ordine ricordava la casa di Barbie, mancava solo Ken! Lara respirava beata quel profumino di pulito. Ahhh, da quanto tempo non si sentiva così.
Si lasciò andare di schianto sulla poltrona e... mmmmmiiiaaaaooooooo ! vide il gatto schizzare verso l’alto, fare un triplo salto mortale e subito dopo, scivolando sul pavimento lucidissimo, dirigersi come un razzo verso il terrazzino. Povero Leo… Lara si sentì un pochino in colpa ma le venne da ridere per la scene and then, think about it, at least for that evening gattastro would carefully avoided.
He got no more than two steps that a shrill voice, and reached the mielosa "Buongioooorno lady, but the mail does not ever take it away?".
was the tenant of the ground floor, Ms. Bartolini. Certainly the lying in wait, crouched behind the door, with the squinting eye glued to the peephole. At first thought to put her in the ass for summary, then thought: "Ohhh, he's right, not me I was noticed, thanks." He went back on his feet, he opened the box and hit an avalanche of paper.
was the tenant of the ground floor, Ms. Bartolini. Certainly the lying in wait, crouched behind the door, with the squinting eye glued to the peephole. At first thought to put her in the ass for summary, then thought: "Ohhh, he's right, not me I was noticed, thanks." He went back on his feet, he opened the box and hit an avalanche of paper.
The Bartolini was still at the door and pretended to place and watering the plant that took up a contraption out of the porta di casa … in realtà osservava la scena con la coda dell’occhio, quello buono.
Lara raccolse tutta la posta e si avviò per le scale, quando le passò accanto disse: “Ma lei lo sa che le piante finte non hanno bisogno di acqua?”. La signora Bartolini ebbe un sussulto, drizzò la schiena e la testa con uno scatto stizzoso, strinse le labbra, girò sui tacchi (o meglio, sulle pantofole), rientrò in casa e chiuse la porta con tutte le dodici o tredici mandate.
Salendo le scale Lara diede una sbirciata alla posta che teneva tra le mani. Bollette, depliant pubblicitari, resoconti della banca, due cartoline e una paccata di posta per Marco. Ancora !!
Questa storia cominciava to seriously annoy: no longer lived there for eight months, or since he had left, and the young gentleman had not yet made the change of residence. It was as if all that did not want to cut the cord that had joined them for many years and this attitude brought to mind the story of Tom Thumb and his bread crumbs.
Maybe he should think about her, go to the post office and communicate the new address of Mark, but he had the courage to do so for fear of hurting him.
Salendo le scale Lara diede una sbirciata alla posta che teneva tra le mani. Bollette, depliant pubblicitari, resoconti della banca, due cartoline e una paccata di posta per Marco. Ancora !!
Questa storia cominciava to seriously annoy: no longer lived there for eight months, or since he had left, and the young gentleman had not yet made the change of residence. It was as if all that did not want to cut the cord that had joined them for many years and this attitude brought to mind the story of Tom Thumb and his bread crumbs.
Maybe he should think about her, go to the post office and communicate the new address of Mark, but he had the courage to do so for fear of hurting him.
Mark ... who knows what he said about his new job. Undoubtedly he would try to take it apart "Want to make the career woman? ah ah ah ... career ... with the bus ... ahahaha "Al
suo fianco si era sempre sentita una nullità, anche soltanto per la stazza: Marco era alto e grosso e importante. Lui era perfetto, lei era tutta sbagliata.
Ogni volta che esprimeva il desiderio di iniziare a lavorare, lui le diceva: “Ma lascia perdere, io guadagno abbastanza per tutti e due. E poi la casa ha bisogno di una regina… ”.
Regina ? la schiava, semmai. Ogni scusa era buona per farla sentire una incapace; come quando discutevano della sua paura di guidare: lui la prendeva in giro la stuzzicava, ma quando Lara gli chiedeva di farla provare a guidare e di aiutarla a superare il timore, Marco trovava sempre qualche pretesto per non farlo.
Adesso capiva che era così che lui la voleva : totalmente dipendente.
He put the key in the lock and closed his eyes as a ritual. In the hall he opened them and despair took hold of her, the fairy with a magic wand had not appeared even today. The apartment is presented with the same mess as always. Artistic perhaps, but still chaos. The Cat in the
greeted with one of his traps but there was very bad. Leo, tan cat, nice but pain in the ass, so he always did: waited for Lara came home and stuck with a leap suddenly from the kitchen door, the bit into his legs and then ran away . That day
Lara had his boots.
He spent the weekend doing the spring cleaning ... that dell'95 ! e anche fuori stagione visto che era quasi natale. Fu una sorta di mission impossible ma ne uscì vittoriosa. Erano le dieci di sera di domenica quando finalmente si fermò. Si guardava intorno soddisfatta, non le sembrava più nemmeno la stessa casa, tutto quell’ordine ricordava la casa di Barbie, mancava solo Ken! Lara respirava beata quel profumino di pulito. Ahhh, da quanto tempo non si sentiva così.
Si lasciò andare di schianto sulla poltrona e... mmmmmiiiaaaaooooooo ! vide il gatto schizzare verso l’alto, fare un triplo salto mortale e subito dopo, scivolando sul pavimento lucidissimo, dirigersi come un razzo verso il terrazzino. Povero Leo… Lara si sentì un pochino in colpa ma le venne da ridere per la scene and then, think about it, at least for that evening gattastro would carefully avoided.
It was 5 am on Monday when ...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
What Do These Colorful Bracelets Mean
Women By Bus - The
" Welcome to our big family: the waiting time Monday ...."
The sales manager took her hand, Lara came out with heart in throat, happy, was not the work he was looking for but for the moment could go.
We already saw career woman, self-confident, made, admired, independent and have known many people expanded their horizons.
brisk walk with my head full of ideas and projects. In front of a window he saw his reflection and saw the smile that had inadvertently printed on the lips.
He thought and thought the meeting, the interview, the board had completed ... Already, the card! The smile disappeared. He lied! But it was the only thing to do: the question "Car owner?" had ticked "Yes". Well! was really true: the car we had a driver's license also ... what was lacking was the courage to go al volante.
In tutta la sua vita aveva guidato si e no dieci volte, comprese le 9 lezioni e 1 esame di guida.... Stop! Il giorno che le arrivò la patente andò a comprare un’auto di seconda mano, di un colore impossibile - ma quello era ciò che passava il convento -. La ritirò dopo una settimana, la guidò dal concessionario fino a casa dei suoi e la parcheggiò nel cortile condominiale. Dove tutt’ora giace. Guidare, in realtà, non le era mai interessato veramente, aveva sempre avuto fidanzati e amiche automuniti, inoltre le piaceva camminare e quando le gambe non bastavano aveva sempre ovviato con il treno o la corriera...
Insomma, fino ad oggi l'aveva sempre sfangata ma si rese conto che era arrivato time to deal with their mental lock. The assignment required displacements not only in cities but also out of self, as he had said and stressed the head of the company, it was essential!
Porcaccia misery, the very thought made her a strizzone belly.
came running into the first bar he saw, he tripped in the doorway and, after a flight that seemed interminable swallow landed on a style of art nouveau tables laid for brunch.
When he opened his eyes he saw an angel. Oh God, she thought, I'm dead. I ended up under a truck, now I'm in heaven (who would have thought!) And this is the angel who will accompany me to my studio on the Milky Way, with panoramic views of Neptune.
"Miss, how are you?". "Oh, all right, thank you ... and you?". The type
chuckled: "I'm not passed out, she"
"Mom what a figure! I fell, right?"
"Well, yes ... but with style, I assure you."
Lara touched the bump protruding from the front and saw that she was going to head down like a meteor and not a metaphor. In return, the stimulus that had made her fall in the bar was gone.
"I want a glass of water?"
"Yes, thank you"
He realized that he was very very nice. He was already making his second film when a little angel with mental two shoulders so kindly gave her a glass of water. Lara looked very good. Found that, in terms of beauty, had nothing to envy to the first responder and images already fought over by two of her lost love. The two boys helped to his feet, asked if he still needs help, then saluted her, made her wishes and leave the room hand in hand.
Lara followed them with her eyes, the face of a stupid and a veil of disappointment in his eyes.
With his hand on the bump went to the bus stop going to think about those two: some that were just beautiful together, a perfect match ... as Laurel and Hardy, Fred and Ginger, and Sussi Biribisso, Chip and Dale, Kit and Kat and mozzarella on pizza. Perfect, yes! what a pity, though: with all the hunger that was around!
Maybe we took the bus arrived on foot or maybe the fact is that, without even realizing it, he found himself in front of the front door.
The mailbox was full, as usual, and Lara ...
" Welcome to our big family: the waiting time Monday ...."
The sales manager took her hand, Lara came out with heart in throat, happy, was not the work he was looking for but for the moment could go.
We already saw career woman, self-confident, made, admired, independent and have known many people expanded their horizons.
brisk walk with my head full of ideas and projects. In front of a window he saw his reflection and saw the smile that had inadvertently printed on the lips.
He thought and thought the meeting, the interview, the board had completed ... Already, the card! The smile disappeared. He lied! But it was the only thing to do: the question "Car owner?" had ticked "Yes". Well! was really true: the car we had a driver's license also ... what was lacking was the courage to go al volante.
In tutta la sua vita aveva guidato si e no dieci volte, comprese le 9 lezioni e 1 esame di guida.... Stop! Il giorno che le arrivò la patente andò a comprare un’auto di seconda mano, di un colore impossibile - ma quello era ciò che passava il convento -. La ritirò dopo una settimana, la guidò dal concessionario fino a casa dei suoi e la parcheggiò nel cortile condominiale. Dove tutt’ora giace. Guidare, in realtà, non le era mai interessato veramente, aveva sempre avuto fidanzati e amiche automuniti, inoltre le piaceva camminare e quando le gambe non bastavano aveva sempre ovviato con il treno o la corriera...
Insomma, fino ad oggi l'aveva sempre sfangata ma si rese conto che era arrivato time to deal with their mental lock. The assignment required displacements not only in cities but also out of self, as he had said and stressed the head of the company, it was essential!
Porcaccia misery, the very thought made her a strizzone belly.
came running into the first bar he saw, he tripped in the doorway and, after a flight that seemed interminable swallow landed on a style of art nouveau tables laid for brunch.
When he opened his eyes he saw an angel. Oh God, she thought, I'm dead. I ended up under a truck, now I'm in heaven (who would have thought!) And this is the angel who will accompany me to my studio on the Milky Way, with panoramic views of Neptune.
"Miss, how are you?". "Oh, all right, thank you ... and you?". The type
chuckled: "I'm not passed out, she"
"Mom what a figure! I fell, right?"
"Well, yes ... but with style, I assure you."
Lara touched the bump protruding from the front and saw that she was going to head down like a meteor and not a metaphor. In return, the stimulus that had made her fall in the bar was gone.
"I want a glass of water?"
"Yes, thank you"
He realized that he was very very nice. He was already making his second film when a little angel with mental two shoulders so kindly gave her a glass of water. Lara looked very good. Found that, in terms of beauty, had nothing to envy to the first responder and images already fought over by two of her lost love. The two boys helped to his feet, asked if he still needs help, then saluted her, made her wishes and leave the room hand in hand.
Lara followed them with her eyes, the face of a stupid and a veil of disappointment in his eyes.
With his hand on the bump went to the bus stop going to think about those two: some that were just beautiful together, a perfect match ... as Laurel and Hardy, Fred and Ginger, and Sussi Biribisso, Chip and Dale, Kit and Kat and mozzarella on pizza. Perfect, yes! what a pity, though: with all the hunger that was around!
Maybe we took the bus arrived on foot or maybe the fact is that, without even realizing it, he found himself in front of the front door.
The mailbox was full, as usual, and Lara ...
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